How being yourself may become counterproductive

Adam Wise
2 min readMar 27, 2019

We are often told by famous talented people and coaches around the world that the only way to be truly happy is being yourself. “Be yourself, if you aren’t yet, go find yourself!” they say. But what do all this mean? why there is so much emphasis on it? and is it advisable always to be so? In this article I would like to share with you some my thoughts on these questions.

To be yourself means to stop pretending, to be free from social judgment and just to do what you like. But I don’t think that many people feel free when they do what they like. Actually it is more stressful to do and say what you want, and sometimes it may harm you. I think there are many flaws in this advice, I think we should change the slogan ‘be yourself’ to ‘think yourself’. If you think deeply, you may find that in ideal world, where you are always being yourself you should have too much power on others. In order to do what you what and to achieve what you want other people must always help you. Because if they interfere you, then you have to pretend to be liked, and pretending can not be counted as being yourself. Let’s be honest, you can not be liked by everyone, even in small groups there will be a person who either pretends to like you or openly shows dislike. Now you may say “f%@# them, I don’t care what these haters think”. But do you want to be hated by more people? As a society our goal is to live in peace. The advice ‘to be yourself’ is most useful to people, who is in stressful situation where they want to please everyone and forgot what they really love. But for those who is satisfied with their position in life it may bring more harm than help.

My goal has always been to achieve freedom. But the real freedom involves responsibility for it. I think any advice must be properly valuated even if they seem brilliant. There always be line which can crossed. Therefore, I invite you to think critically and ask yourself ‘what are my other goals in life? how I can fit them with my freedom?’

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